I believe I made mention of the fact that my neighbor threatened to call the pound on us the next time Lilly got out, but I guess what he really meant was he was going to call the pound anyway. We had a nice visit from Animal Services representative who was very friendly, but had to give us a warning despite everything. She wasn't allowed to divulge the identity of the complainant, so I guess it really isn't fair of me to assume that it's the only person that I know of to ever complain about our dog and to go straight to his lawyer whenever I blow my nose on toilet paper instead of Kleenex.

Whatever! The rep gave Rylee some colouring books and had to lecture us about the bylaws stating that all dogs must be on leash off their property. I agree! Last thing I want is for Lilly to get hit by a car. Part of the complaint was that Lilly has been seen barking at cars. Well, this mystery person who has seen my dog bark at cars must spend a heck of lot more time with Lilly than I do because I have never witnessed this phenomenon. If you can get Lilly to bark at a car, truck or any other vehicle barreling down the road then I'd like to add that to the ever increasing list of tricks that she knows such as sit, lie down, roll over and play dead. Barking at cars would be funny, but she doesn't do that. Not that I've seen. I wonder where liars come from.

As promised, here are some pictures of the kids at Canada Olympic Park:




That last picture once again shows Rylee's rebellious nature. Or it could be her lack of control. She went beyond the barrier tape into the cross-country ski area, and at one point a group of 20 or 30 skiers went zooming passed Rylee on all sides. I was actually pretty scared for her safety, but there would have been no way to reach her in time. I tried which is why there's no picture of the event. Thankfully, every single one of them missed her. Man, I wish I would have gotten that as a movie file. Stupid concern over daughter's welfare....

Rylee wants me to snowboard with her tonight. I haven't been on a snowboard for two years, and that was the only time I had ever tried one. I remember falling down a lot. I remember very sore forearms the next few days. There are parts I can't remember due to hitting my head.

I remember it being a blast, though. I had hoped that the next time I went snowboarding it would be accompanied by a lesson package again.

I found this picture on the net:



This guy's arm was bionic for a long time after his snowboard accident.

I'm going to talk Rylee into letting me ski, hopefully. I don't hold out much hope, though.

Did everyone see my fashionable buddy?

Oh, that’s right! I blog on occasion, don’t I? Every now and then? Sorry, but free time is lacking lately, and I was having too much fun exposing a different dynamic this weekend.

We signed the kids up for a four week ski-lesson package that occurs every Wednesday after they get out of school. This occurs at Canada Olympic Park, and I found it odd standing on the hill last Wednesday because I don’t actually remember ever going there when I live in Calgary prior to 1990. I may have gone to watch an Olympic event during the 88 winter games, but other than that, I don’t think I’ve ever stepped on the hill ever. I’m more of a Sunshine or Lake Louis type of guy. Well, I was, anyway.

The timing of the lessons wasn’t all that great since if Michelle doesn’t have a day off then the kids might be late to them if I have to take them. However, for the first two weeks it seems that Michelle has those days off, so I guess I needn’t worry. So the first Wednesday, last Wednesday, Michelle took the girls to the hill and I met them just as they were getting their names ticked off the list of registries.

Kristen took the route that she had already tried once which was skiing. Rylee decided that she was a snowboarder. Therefore, the two of them had to be in different spots with different instructors. When I arrived at COP I managed to find Michelle no problem as she stayed near the area where Rylee was, so I said a quick hello and followed Michelle’s directions to Kristen’s area.

What I saw when I arrived could only be described as a huge cell of people with the instructor being the nucleus. Everyone was gathered around this poor guy with the name sheet, and the other instructors didn’t seem to be helping with customer control. If they would have merely suggested a single line, chaos may have been avoided. Instead, this poor Australian guy was surrounded by hundreds of children under the age of 14 and their parents who insisted on their child being first. Let me tell you people, not all Calgarian’s are friendly. This would have been a perfect opportunity to study mob psychology.

I found Kristen right at the center of the cell directly beside the nucleus, er, ski instructor. This guy seemed to look right through Kristen when gathering names, and Kristen, who is mostly made of “shyness,” wasn’t speaking up for herself. She’s not shy all the time, mind you. But she is respectful, and you would never catch her butting in line ahead of anyone. However, lines aren’t usually a circular pulsing mass of people screaming that they were here first.

I greeted Kristen, and proceeded to stand beside her as the instructor ticked off more names; there didn’t seem to be any logic or pattern to how he was going about his task. He would turn around completely and only stop when someone mentioned the name of their son or daughter. Finally, after waiting for about ten minutes standing directly in front of him, I finally said Kristen’s name after he had ticked off his list. I guess my booming voice managed to attract his attention because he instantly went to Kristen’s name on the list.

A woman located at 9 o’clock said, “Weren’t you next?” to a woman at 10 o’clock who responded, “I guess not!” with the nastiest look on her face and a roll of the eyes.

“I guess it depends on what direction you’re coming from,” I responded, but this lady just glared. Sheesh!

Now, if I were nasty, and I’m not (at times), I would have said what I really wanted too: “I guess your child won’t be taking their lesson today since I butted in front of you, eh?”

See? Not that nasty, but it wasn’t said anyway. The statement wouldn’t have been true to begin with. I did not “butt” in front of her seeing as there wasn’t a line to begin with, and apparently courtesy was lacking as well. I can understand being protective of one’s child, but this woman looked at me as if she wanted to do me bodily harm for daring to be next. I guess we won’t be friends.

Michelle had a run-in with our anti-social neighbor. Lilly got out of our yard because someone, and I’m not naming names because I can’t prove who it was anyway, left the side gate open. Michelle went outside in her pajamas to retrieve our dog who decided to go over to our neighbor’s driveway and bark at him.

Lilly’s harmless and barks at anybody who comes near her domain. That is, until you pet her. Then she’ll give you all the jewelry and spare cash lying around the house in hopes that you’ll throw her ball for her. However, Mark isn’t social to us at all, so the chances of him petting our dog is about as remote as him inviting us over for tea.

Lilly just yapped at him until Michelle retrieved her. I can understand that it would be annoying; little dogs can be annoying. Michelle apologized profusely, standing outside in her pajamas, in the meekest and humblest of ways. It’s hard to be any more humbler than when you’re standing outside in your pajamas with your hair unkempt and holding your yappy dog. This has got to paint a picture of someone who is truly sorry.

“Next time this happens,” Mark said, not acknowledging the apology, “I’m calling the pound. It’s happened too many times.”

Ooh, the words I’d like to say about him would make my mom travel from Creston to wash my mouth out with soap in Calgary. Grrr.

The “many times” it has happened before is when we just moved in and tried to catch all the holes in the fence leading to his yard (he wrote a letter to my landlord’s lawyer for that one….one day after Michelle and the girls moved in), and that’s all that comes to mind.

Michelle phoned me at work, virtually in tears after this occurred. Why is he so antisocial towards us? What did we do to him? I’d love to know. Really!

I’m going to take the camera to this week’s ski/snowboard lessons, and Michelle and I are going to partake in a little evening downhill action as well. Wish us luck. Michelle’s only been on skis once since she was 14, and that was last year.

Well, that's not completely true. She was nagging me, but it wasn't her nagging that was holding me back from posting her picture online. I was putting the finishing touches on tomorrow's comic, so I wasn't able to get this up even though she kept asking me at regular intervals of 30 seconds.

Kristen's very proud of this picture. It's her cartoon version of Lilly. First I'll show you the real bundle of fluff:



This is one of my favourite photos of her. I think Michelle took it because whenever I try to take a picture, Lilly always ends up as a blur streaking toward the horizon. And now here's cartoon Lilly:



Kristen had me save the file as Lilly-Anger-Management since she has a serious frown going on. I love it, and I can definitely see the Manga influence in her style. Like a Chibi, I guess.

Tomorrows comic is lacking in art but full of message, so check it out.

Don't you hate 'em? The way they casually sneak out of your nasal orifice when you least suspect it like, for instance:

1. First dates
2. Job interviews
3. Military inspections

I, personally, am very aware of them, and even though I may not be an Adonis of sorts, I feel that they should be groomed if not physically ripped out of my nose.

And here's an interesting fact: if the temperature drops below, say, minus 20 degrees Celsius like it did this morning, nose hairs huddle and freeze together, or they freeze to the inside of you nostrils making it oddly uncomfortable to scrunch your nose.

Went to the lab yesterday to have blood taken. Rylee actually wanted to come and watch, but I was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to, so I asked Kristen and Rylee to wait in the waiting room while this was done. When I was called in, a nice lab tech, whose name I can't just recall at the moment (but she was very sweet), started to do her thing. She had to take four vials of blood which she said amounted to less than a table spoon. I was actually surprised by this as the vials looked rather large. I casually mentioned that my youngest daughter wanted to watch, and, to my surprise, the lab tech said she could if she wanted to.

She went out to get Rylee, made the mistake of asking Kristen as well whom can't even stand the word "blood," and brought Rylee back to watch. She was riveted as soon as she saw the vials filling, and she asked if it hurt. It didn't really, and I've never had a problem with needles. I'm sure deep down I have a bit of a phobia of being stabbed with something sharp (as opposed to something dull, I guess), but I'm sure this is just natural as I haven't heard of too many people being addicted to self pier...Wait! Scratch that! I guess with all the piercings in various areas and tattoos that the previous statement would have been completely wrong.

Anyway, Rylee's watching the vials fill, and the lab tech is talking her through it. All of a sudden Rylee starts saying stuff like she's used to blood because she's seen Jurassic Park and there was this scene where this guy was sitting on the toilet and he would have been fine except for that he moved and so he was eaten by a T-Rex. Yes, without all the necessary punctuation. The lab tech and I both agreed out loud that Rylee's diatribe wasn't quite the same as what I was going through.

Once done I had to do the ol' peeing in a cup thing. Rylee and I both decided that she wasn't watching that. Funny, though. After I was done, she snuck into the bathroom to open the cupboard door to make sure the cup was actually there. There were two cups (someone else's sample was there first), and she asked if mine was the full one. Out loud. In front of everyone. What a rascal.

I had to have my knees x-rayed after that, and I wish I could say that Rylee and Kristen were well behaved while I was getting this done, but I came out to the waiting room to find them both on the floor, Rylee crying and Kristen on top of her. Sheesh! How embarrassing!

I was to hungry to get too mad since I wasn't allowed to eat anything that day till I had finished giving blood. Thank goodness there were chicken quesadillas waiting for us at home. Leftover never tasted so good!

I'm not going to mention a comic posting every time it's done, but I have to direct you to Wednesday's comic. I'm not at the quality I want yet, but the first panel (besides the fire) I am proud of. It just worked well. That, and I like the girls in the last pane. I have to say that this one is very tongue-in-cheek since to my recollection Michelle has never actually broken my neck.

Heh heh! I got Dan today! Mwah hahahahahah...

What's the deal with Alberta, eh? I've never, ever had a sinus headache before in my whole entire life, and now I can't get rid of one. It's like there are tiny leprechauns behind my left eye trying to push it out of its socket. Ugh! I'm tired of taking Sudafed, but if I don't then just the act of bending over to spit in the sink makes me want to fall to my knees in pain.

You want to know the funny part? As soon as I was across the Alberta/BC border and on the way to Creston to pick up the kids, I wasn't bothered by any pain or not nearly as bothered as I was back here. Someone might be trying to tell me something!

We got the kids back in one piece, the same condition they left my mom in, thankfully. I am so glad they got to spend all this time in Creston with my mom, dad, sister and their cousins. From what I hear, it was endless fun, excitement and kids DVD viewing.

Now it's back to reality! I've got to start acting all mature-like now and start taking care of myself. Finally went to see a doctor after not being to one since I ended my military contract in 1999, and as a result I now have to see three more. Stupid aging body! Maybe we'll be able to solve the mystery of the ever-failing knees, eh?

News Flash: the Chev dealer fixing the car just called, and it turns out that everything is covered under the powertrain warranty. That is the best news I've had in a long time...with regards to automobiles, anyway. Sweet! Now I'll be able to buy that pony I’ve always wanted. I take back a little about what I said of GM products…Not all of it! Just a little!

Wow! I've been boring you guys for a year as of today. How can you stand to look at yourselves in the mirror?

I spent my blogiversary in the traditional way: riding my dad's quad around the mountain in his back yard in Creston, BC. That's right! I spent My Alberta Adventure's birthday in BC. Sue me!

The third TILAH comic came out today, and as of now it's my favourite. It's not the best art-wise, but Shannon provided a great story, and I dirtied it up a bit. Enjoy!

And in new that makes me glow all over, my buddy Jason of My Living Dead Girl Fame (and his wife, Dena, too, obviously), gave birth to their first child, a baby boy named Hugo. On behalf of myslef and all of us at TILAH, congradulations!

Click To Watch My Dad The Elf

A note about the better half's night time psycho babble: I was so tired that I was probably asleep before she even turned off the light after reading, so I couldn't tell you if she spoke in her sleep or not. However, my body must have missed the torture very much because it decided to wake up at 4:00 AM. Couldn't sleep for a while after that, but I muscled through...by not moving and eventually falling asleep again.

Get to pick up the girls tomorrow. It's been so weird not having them here that I may have gone just a little bit crazy. Tried to get the dog to play video games with me...

Night 4 – Bedtime

You’d think I’d be super tired after getting very little sleep the previous evening and staying up all day so that I could go to bed at a regular time last night but nooooooooo…

So I read again. I usually read before bedtime because I find it relaxes me…Depending on the material, actually. If it’s something I’ve been dying to read then I’ll probably force my way through minutes I should be sleeping. Lately I’ve had an amazing amount of material to choose from, so last night I decided it was high time to put that Lemony Snicket series to bed seeing as I haven’t read the last three books.

I began to read The Grim Grotto; Michelle slept.

Yes, I still read books that are considered outside of my age level. But I still enjoy them and don’t feel the slightest bit ashamed. This is something that Kristen and I get to share with each other as she tends to shy away from John Grisham or Michael Crichton novels.

I managed to put the book down and turn off the light without Michelle uttering a single scary syllable. I had dosed up on the last of the NyQuil, and she had felt well enough to leave the stuff alone. I settled into a rhythmic breathing pattern and let my thoughts wander as I usually do when trying to sleep. The noises emitting from the heating vents became intertwined with my drowsy reflection, and it was like music was filling my head as I slipped deeper and deeper into uncons…

“Who’s calling me?”

Bam! I’m awake! Whatever tiredness I had felt before immediately escaped me.

“What?” I asked.

“Someone’s calling me!” Michelle was leaning towards me in bed. “I heard it!”

“Michelle, there’s no one calling you!” I reassured though I was a tad upset at being robbed of what felt like the beginnings of a good sleep.

Michelle grunted and turned over. She immediately started to snore softly.

Ugh! There I was awake again. I tried to let my mind wander, but twenty minutes later Michelle was at it again.

“What is with this house?”

“What now?” I asked.

“I just saw a face! It was a Cabbage Patch kid on the door!” She indicated the ensuite bathroom door. “It was moving!”

Visions of Child’s Play filled my head, and my imagination added Chucky’s footsteps just for the fun of it.

“I can’t stand this house!” she insisted, “There’s something wrong with this house!”

Instantaneously, she was back to sleep.

I lay awake for another 10 or 20 minutes before I decided that it was futile and read another chapter of the Grim Grotto before maybe falling asleep at around 2:00am or 3:00am. Felt good to wake up at 5:30am (note: sarcasm).

I’ve already had a few comments from coworkers that I should go home. I’m considering it, but seeing as I’m taking tomorrow and Friday off, I may be pushing it.

Take It Like A Husband is up, but it's kind of in its developmental stage right now. We have two comics up, but the front page didn't update like it's supposed too. Hopefully Shannon can get on that, but for now you have to go to the archive to see today's comic.

With heart attacks, at least!

Michelle has been giving me the horror movie heebie jeebies lately. We’ve both been under the weather and have been dosing up with NyQuil, the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so you can rest medicine. It’s been having strange effects on her.

This has been a three night process of which I’m sure is ultimately leading to that pivotal moment where she scares me to death.

Night One – Bedtime

I am reading; Michelle has fallen asleep. I decide that it’s time to turn off the light, but as I do I’m hit with the sudden urge to go to the bathroom. I get up in the dark and round our bed to make way to the ensuite bathroom.

“Stop!”

I look down at Michelle and can just make out her face in the darkness. Her eyes are wide open and staring at the ceiling. She points at the spot she’s staring at and says, “There something on the ceiling!”

I look and can’t see anything.

“It’s flying,” she insists, “It’s like a dragon fly!”

I look harder and can’t see a thing. I look back at Michelle who’s now asleep again. I manage to slow my heart beat and make my way back to the bathroom.

Once I’ve made it back to the bed, Michelle says, “How many lights are on the wall?”

I had no idea what she was referring to, so I said, “Seven!”

She replied, “I see three!” I glance at her and realize that she’s looking towards the ensuite light switch which glows when it is in the off position. However, there is only one light.

She was quiet for a while and said something that I can’t recall a few minutes later. But the worst was when, about a half hour later, she sat bolt upright and stared at our darkened doorway without so much as saying a word.

After a few minutes I asked her what she was looking at. She said, almost angrily, “Nothing!” and went back to sleep. I’m sure it was a long while before I was able to do the same.

Night Two – Bedtime

I had just finished reading and switched off the light when Michelle, who had been sleeping, sits up and leans over me to look at our window.

“Why’s it hanging from the window?”

I look at the window, see nothing, and tell Michelle as such.

“You hung the cell phone from the window!”

Actually, I’m pretty sure I didn’t…

She was asleep before I could tell her so.

Night Three – Bedtime

This was last night. Once again, I am reading while she sleeps. She sits up again, looks at the ensuite door (which is closed) then turns to look at me.

“There’s a splash of red on the door!” she whispers.

I’m kind of buggin’ out at this point. I look at the door and, of course, see nothing.

“You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?” I asked her.

“I think the dog did it!” She looks at Lilly who is innocently sleeping at the foot of the bed. “She put the red there!”

She goes back to sleep.

“You are, aren’t you? You’re trying to give me a heart attack!”

She didn’t even respond.

Later, though, she asked me how much. I was pretty much in pain last night due to an all day Chinook induced headache, so I just blurted out, “500!”

“I thought it was 63,” she said.

“Why?” I asked.

“It just looked like 68,” she responded.

“I thought you just said 63?”

“Yeah!”

“Why?”

“It just computes,” she said, “It just makes sense.”

I thought for a moment.

“We’re having you committed in the morning!”

All she did was snore.

I wasn’t kidding about the Chinook induced headache. I’ve been told that it has to do with the extreme pressure difference when the Chinook winds come about. Yesterday there was a beautiful Chinook wind which practically melted all the snow. Lilly and I went for a nice long walk while I did my best to ignore the nagging headache. Well, it kept me up till 3:30 am, and when my cold and head wouldn’t cooperate with me at all, I phoned in sick. Great, eh? First day back for the New Year and I’m incapacitated.

Ugh!

I need Tylenol!