Alberta time, that is! Yeah, right! Like that's going to happen. I still need sustenance! Food, darn it!

Holy ever-loving cow have I been busy! Whacky busy, y'know? I usually start work at 5am and end when the work's done. That's usually around 7 or 8pm. Today was special, however, as all our jobs went seamlessly. Five before noon! Hurray!

So when I say I start at five, that consists of getting up at 3am so as Derek can freshen up (powder my nose, so to speak), eat a little breaky and pack a lunch. Also, when I say I start at five I really mean 4:30am. I want to get there early to ispect my equipment to make sure I'm not the cause of a whole convoy leaving late. That would be bad!

The guys I work with are, geeze, how should I put it? They're fun to work with, but quick to point out that you can't swing a hammer properly. I missed that class at university, I guess. However, the swing is coming along well, and I seem to be hitting the iron target most of the time. I just tell everyone that I hammer like lightening....because I never strike the same place twice. Better than hammering like thunder, I guess. Making a lot of noise without anything to show for it afterwards.

So, yeah, everyone seems to be cool. Definitely a lot harder around the edges than most of the people I've hung out with. Being a dad, I have to bit my tongue so as not to correct anyone's grammar or chastise them for using potty talk. No! I'm pretty sure I would be frowned at if I did something like that.

I did something today that I've never really done before. I strong armed an auto dealership. I took my van in to get a list of items fixed, and as I was well within the 3 month warranty since purchase, they are covered at no cost to me. The list of things are as follows:

1. My front windshield washer fluid pump doesn't work. I found this out while driving in Calgary during a slightly wet evening. I actually had to pull over, press the rear spayer, run to the back and grab some to put on the front windshield. That didn't work too well so I just ended up spitting on my windshield and wiping it with my touque. Did you know saliva leaves a cloudy film?
2. I smell antifreeze when I start the car. This shouldn't happen! All my mechanical knowledge, which doesn't amount to much where automobiles are concerned, tells me this is so.
3. The heater doesn't heat very well. It should! This is another thing I know about cars! The heater provides heat. Go figure!
4. Beyond all reasoning, the stereo heats up so hot you can fry an egg on it. I was actually considering using it as the van's heater by setting up a fan to blow across it, but all my thermodyamical education tells me that I'd probably have to rig up four more stereos to adequately heat up the van. However, the one is still working better than the heater. It's just the annoying crackle from the speakers and the constant skipping of the cds and my constant worry that said cds would melt while in the stereo that made me bring this to the attention of the car dealership.

So I went in with my list of problems, said that I needed a vehicle, and since I had just bought it that could they please provide me with a vehicle to boot back and forth to work while they fixed mine. They told me that it was against a brand spanking new policy that was implemented the minute I walked through the door this after noon to lend vehicles off the lot. However, they said they could get me a good rate on a rental from the guys across the street while the tinkered with my van.

Derek got cross!

Derek said that he didn't want to be paying anything above what he was already paying for the van that THEY sold him and THEY assured him was in proper working order. Derek wanted to see the manager and tell him this. Derek thought that the vehicle should have been checked for these little hiccups and was given a list of the items that were check, most of which cover what I've mentioned as being my, I mean Derek's, problems.

Derek was asked to sit in an office and calm down while the manager was approached.

By the end of it, they are paying for the rental and fixing my concerns. So I guess I won, eh? However, I think they got me back a little. I am responsible for the gas of the rental which is understandable, and the vehicle they got for me is a huge Dodge Ram with a 5.7L Hemi under the hood. A gas guzzler, I'm sure! Oh well, I guess I won't drive it too much. I'll just sit in it and make "Vrooooom vroom!" noises.

Well, I need food! Just know that I'm not dead. I will just be updating sporadically till I get a computer....Which might, I stress "might," be this weekend. Until then, keep well all!

Well, I'm going back to the Hat today. I will miss my girls all that much more. Sniff!

Thanks to all the people who came out and called while I was here; it was great to talk to you and see you all. Sorry to the ones I missed. I'll try to do more running around when I come back again. Now I have the girls' visit to look forward to during my next set of days off. Should prove interesting in a one bedroom basement suite, eh?

I know it's Valentine's Day, but it's starting to feel like Christmas. I've got one more day of work till I just start coasting to Victoria. I'm full of joy and the spirit of giving and want to teach that nasty grinch what Christmas is all about...But that's already been done, so it would be redundant.

Happy Valentine's Day, Michele. Happy Valentine's Day Kristen and Rylee. I love you all soooooooooo much, and I'm will to let everyone read this mushy stuff to prove it. Smooches!

To my dad: I'm still using the library computer till I get my own. When will that happen? Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe better, actually.

So that's it! Nope, there's no more. I'm going to Calgary tomorrow (maybe), and I might visit my aunt if she's free. Then I'm leaving on a jet plane, but I know when I'll be back again. So see you soon all you people you. I'm a comin' to Victoria!

Hey Joanie and Dave! Hope I spelled your name right, Joanie.

Those two are long time family friends who deserve special mention here because they, the Fergs, have actually left notes for me on my blog. Besides Dan, they are the only ones to do it twice. I know how physically demanding it is for all of you people to type something, but these people went through the arduous task, sucked it up and communicated with me. That brings a tear to my eye.

(Tongue is now out of cheek, but it may slip back there in a few sentences)

So, I've been busy! How busy, you ask. Very, I answer. I've been up at 3am and haven't gotten back till 8pm or 10pm. The last couple of days I spent in hotels. That was cool. And, this is the best, I'm now finished with the mentoring and am free to drive by myself....Which I actually won't be doing till I've been trained by an operator of the equipment I'm assigned to, but whatever. It means more money, anyway.

As I said before I had to retrain myself to drive again. I was actually really discouraged when my mentor told me I was scaring him. Something about not being able to get it back into gear going around corners. I've improved a lot since then. I'm now downshifting with ease with the occasional non-life threatening hiccup along the way. I'm doing good is what I'm saying.

Also, I have now taken part in quite a few frac jobs. I'm still not totally sure what everything is or what everything does, but I am learning a tonne of new things every day. I wish I had my digital camera to take a picture of everything for you guys just to show you what happens at these jobs. The amount of equipment is astounding! It's like a whole factory of machinery traveling down the highway and then hooking up via hoses, pipes and cables when we get to the site. I'm not going to explain it to you what it is that goes on because my dad reads this blog, and if I mess something up he'll make fun of me. I can't live with that (there goes that tongue in cheek thing again!).

Thursday I actually went to Saskatchewan for the first time in a very long time (which is actually a shame as I have lots of family there). I went through Consol, Sask, to get to the job site. That place is such a small town that I think I might have take two and a half breaths driving through it at 50 kph. Friday and Saturday I went out to Youngstown which is passed Jenner, AB and performed as part of eight different frac jobs. Everything just goes so smoothly when you get it all together. We were there no more than 10 minutes and we had the manifold, CO2, sand, blender, data van and chem van all connected (I'm probably forgetting something, too). Then within half an hour we were on our way to the next job.

When we were done on Saturday, my mentor and I fueled and loaded the CO2 truck and washed her, and we were about to take off for the day when Tyler calls the truck and asks if we have an over night bag packed. Apparently we were headed for Drayton Valley. It was 4pm and Drayton Valley is 6 to 6 and a half hours away. Cool! Road trip. We were to go there, check into the motel and report to the frac crew that was there. We made it by 10:30pm and found out that our wake up call was for 4:30am. Time to go to bed, I guess.

We left bright and early without the brightness at 5am, and it took three ours of drive the most roller coaster like logging roads I have ever had the pleasure to witness to get to the site. Thankfully I wasn't driving. Unfortunately, I was driving back. The job took about eight hours to get done due to communication's hook up problems as the Calgary office needed to monitor everything via satellite. But we made it eventually, and by the time we were done the sun had come out, beat down on our shining faces and turned the logging road to the most adhesive mud I've ever seen. We had to get a Cat to pull our truck up the exiting hill. So it was my pleasure to drive these roads with my mentor encouraging me from the passenger seat with clever quips like, "For crying out loud, drive faster!" Let's just say that once we reached pavement I became elated.

We stopped for the night in Red Deer because it was so late. My mentor warned me about his snoring the first night in the motel. I was so tired that I told him I'd probably sleep right through it. At 11:40pm I was awakened by someone biting a pig on the snout while delivering haymakers to its stomach. There was nothing rhythmic about his snoring. They were gasps for life, I tell you. There were points where he actually stopped breathing for 30 seconds or so, and I swear he would scream for breath. I seriously considered putting him out of his misery but thought better of it. I remembered I had ear plugs in my jean pockets, so I placed them in my ears, put a pillow either side of my head and fell asleep for a few hours. The next night in Red Deer I put the plugs in right away and got eight hours of beautiful, undisturbed sleep. It was bliss!

So I gotta go do laundry now. It's been awhile and I'd rather take clean stuff back to Victoria on Thursday so it won't cut into my play time. Ciao for now, everyone!

No sweat! I aced her! I can now actually go on mentored trips.

The course was pretty interesting, but not mainly because of the content. Stu, the instructor, made the course interesting with bright moments of hilarity. He's ex-military and would walk around the room with a pointer tucked under his arm like a pace stick. For those of you who do not know what a pace stick is, it is a long chunk of wood that a sergeant or warrant would tap on the ground to keep a marching platoon in time. Oh, and in darker times I believe subordinates were hit with it, as well, but you wouldn't find that happening in today's kinder, gentler military. Or, at least, not any reported cases, eh? No, the instructor had many moments to shine with his experience and jokes. Mostly I can't reprint them due to my wanting to keep this an all ages blog.

Towards the end of the class we were coerced into doing scenarios where we had to recover an individual from an H2S filled environment. There were four groups of three, and just as I knew would happen, my group was called first. So this is how it went down with all the steps that we were supposed to perform:

Instructor: MAN DOWN!

EVACUATE - We run to a safe area

ALARM - I shouted, "Alarm!" In reality you would probably shout what had happen or help or something. I was told to shout alarm or beep or fluzuckem. Whatever I felt like.

ASSESS - Like the fool that I am, I took charge! It didn't seem like my cohorts were going to do it, so I did!

PROTECT - At this point you don your breathing apparatus and run them through some tests. I believe there were six of them, and the first two I opened had now air. At least, I thought they didn't. Turns out only one of them was empty. Good thing, though, because if you put on an empty one, and this is for my slow readers, YOU CAN'T BREATH! So as it turns out, not only are there six breathing apparati, but they are all different! This made putting them on very difficult. In fact, at this point we were so clusterred that all three of us forgot two tests we were supposed to quickly run. The low air bell and air bypass. That's okay though. Read on!

RESCUE - I send my two lackeys into the room where our fallen friend is. One advantage to taking charge was the super human ability of not having to wear the breathing apparatus that has seen a million plus bacteria infested mouths in its life time. Cool, eh? So my cohorts carry our unconscious friend out and lie him down in front of me.

REVIVE - I try to wake him, I clear his airway, and I (pretend to) breath two short breaths into his mouth. I'm sure he didn't want any man on man mouth action. I check for a pulse; he's got one, so I continue to breath for him until he pukes. I roll him over into the recovery position, cover him with a blanket, and, forgoing any spooning, I start to reassure him.

MEDICAL AID - I send for medical aid by saying, "Get medical aid!" or, "Call 911!"

Ugh! I felt that were were about as sound as swinging a bag full of alley cats. However, the instructor informed us that we got him out in under 4 minutes and that he's alive and breathing, so all in all it was a good performance.

So, I got a little card saying I've completed it, and now I have every single card I need! Time to play grown up again. Right now it's about 5:30pm, so I'm going to hit the gym, eat, and make sure I'm in bed nice and early. I have to be in the shop around 5am, and that sneaks up on you pretty quick! Ciao for now amigos!

Couldn't update yesterday because my workday started at 8am and didn't end till 9:30pm...Oh, and I don't have a ing computer, either! The library closed before then, and I was tired. Is this complaining? Well, the not having a computer part is, that's for sure. I'm still waiting for Ty to lend me his PC. He's got a beautiful Mac to play with, but he needs to dump some stuff of the PC hard drive before he lends it to me.

Yesterday I got to drive to Red Deer. That is why I'm not complaining. I drove about 17 cubic meters of CO2 to Red Deer from Redcliff (a couple of clicks outside of the Hat). The truck I drove was a 15 speed as opposed to the 18 speed I've been used to. It was a slight learning curve, but I soon got the hang of it. Plus, it was pretty well highway driving all the way...I use cruise control! But it just blew my mind that I was hauling, and was allowed to do so, a container that in all likely hood of an operator failure could explode. And it was right behind my head. But I just had to remember that this unit was engineered to withstand several different types of external and internal forces and the unlikely possibility of a roll-over and then I relaxed. Then I thought that it was engineered by people with a similar education to mine, and then I started to worry again. Just kidding.

So that was cool! I got one of my mentored drives off, and I think i just have four more to go. I do, however, need to work on my down-shifting again. It HAS been three weeks since I last drove. And I barely had two weeks of driving under my belt.

Today I went to CFB Suffield where the Brits like to play war games. We were basically told that if it looks like a round or piece of artillery, for crying out loud do not touch it! That and there's all sorts of fun little poisonous beasties running around from snakes to spiders to scorpions. I've been told that only one of the five breeds of snakes is poisonous, however. So, if it isn't rattling it'll just bite you for fun.

Well, I'm off to the gym to make muscles in the mirror and grunt loudly. Then I think I'll work out or something. I hope everyone is doing well and can't wait to see you all. Ciao!

# posted by Derek @ 5:55 PM 0 comments

Man, I was so good for the first month, wasn't I? I mean, I get sent away for five days of "New Employee Orientation" and it all goes to pot. So instead of eating and drinking healthy at the motel I was put up in (actually, it was more like a hotel, but it was called an inn...I'll have to look up the difference later), I ate mostly unhealthy food and drank unhealthy BEvERages. I couldn't really help it because I had to eat was was available to me.

The exercise room at the inn consisted of a treadmill, recumbent stationary bicycle and a stair climber. Oh, and if you wanted a bag of chips or a candy bar, you had to go to the vending machine...LOCATED IN THE EXERCISE ROOM! I guess the logic there is that you can work off the calories while you're stuffing Dairymilks down your throat. Needless to say I never really visited the exercise room.

I brought my trunk, too, because I was told that there was a pool and a hot tub. The pool ended up being waste deep on me, but it had a pretty cool little waterslide that the kids would have enjoyed. The first night there me and the boys jumped in the hot tub to relax. Honestly, I hate hot tubs because I'm pretty sensitive to heat. However, this one was tolerable. Actually, too tolerable. It would have been hotter if I would have peed in it, and from the looks of the foam that remained after the jets were off and the ring around the tub, someone already had!

Whatever! The beds were nice, the pillows were soft, the cable was available and the staff was friendly. A big plus from the last motel I stayed at. I'd recommend it.

I saw my first coyote the other day as we were driving back. It ran across the highway in front of vehicles that wouldn't even have noticed if they ran over it. The road runner must have had a major head start because I didn't see him at all. Guess the coyote should have got one of them ACME rocket packs or something. It was still super fast, though.

So I'm in the shop tomorrow. Yup! I get to start work. What will I be doing besides waiting for Wednesday? I don't really know. The manager made mention about some sort of orientation for working in and around the Suffield British military base, however. So I guess I'll be doing that. That military base, I believe, acts as the emergency snake bite unit for the patch. If you are bitten by one of the Diamond Backs that roam around here in the hotter weather, they air lift you to the hospital. Cool, huh? I might get a helicopter ride.

Time to go get groceries now. It's starting to snow, so I better get a move on. I hope you are all doing well, and I can't wait to come back to Victoria in 11 days. Yaaaaaaay!

Well, I got in late yesterday afternoon to the discovery that I had the weekend off. That's cool and all, but with no one to really hang out with, it makes for a really dull time. So I keep myself busy with shadow puppet theatre and trying on all my clothes repeatedly. It gets old...Really quickly.

Green Hand school was interesting and a bit of fun, too. I got to hang out with the other three guys who're hired at the same time as myself, and they seem to be alright. Two of them already have experience in the patch, and the other one is older than me. That made me feel a little better.

So basically green hand school, which the instructor insisted on calling "New Employee Orientation" as he found the term "green hand" insulting, was an introduction to the company and what I and the rest of my fellow new recruits would be doing. I still don't understand everything and was told that I wouldn't...There's a lot to learn. But basically, the job is physically enduring and the guys and gals you work with are more than willing to share knowledge with you. I swear that the instructor would just grab people at the base as they went by and ask them questions and they'd just rattle on about what they do and answer questions till there was basically nothing left to say...But they'd keep talking anyway. It was awesome. Most companies haw a tonne of employees who carefully guard their position and info so as to secure their position, but this one seems bent for leather in pushing everyone up the ladder who's willing to climb. And when the instructor found out I had a degree, he pointed in the general direction of the sky and said, "that's your limit right there!" Nice guy!

So I'm back! I'll be working in the shop until I get my H2S course this Wednesday. Then I'll be off to the field where anything and everything can happen. Adventurous, you think?

Oh, and to my buddy Dan. I am not going to get a Flames hat. I'm still a fan of the Canuks...Although the Flames' goalie is still way better than anything the 'nuks have put in net. In fact, when Meloney's brother Darren came to the Hat for a visit he informed me that the Flames had just been beaten by Vancouver. He's a big Flames fan, and I did my best to rub it in as much as I could. Hah!

Alrighty, time to run some errands. The new van's getting detailed right now...Well, it's new to me, anyway! Ciao!