Friday, July 28, 2006
I didn't miss Dan's birthday...
It was yesterday, but don't worry because I actually called him on the right day. I called Mike too, though. Not only did I call him three days after his birthday, but I decided to call him at an hour I knew that he'd be sleeping. I also called him on his cell phone to ensure that not only would he appreciate the value of my calling him, but he'd also pay for it on his next bill as well. Actually, when I called him his stupid Primus telephone wouldn't recognize my number, so for security reasons decided that my call wasn't worthy of its VOIP network. Who do they think they are? Mike's bodyguard? Except that instead of guarding his body they're actually guarding his ear drums from my screechy voice and, thus, from future emotional trauma. I got by them, though. I did indeed.
But it was Dan's 35th birthday yesterday, and from what I hear he celebrated it in a drunken stupor. Completely made a horse's behind out of himself. I guess he crashed a wedding, threw up on the bride and commented on how she now looked like her brides mains. What a jerk! He spent the night in a local drunk tank, but I gather he's staying behind bars a little longer because he kept offering a pack of cigarettes for a night with his jailer's wife.
Wait a minute! Michelle's whispering in my ear. Oh. Really? Oh, okay! Apparently I just made all that stuff up about Dan except for his age. He really is 35! Happy birthday, Danno!
Proportions? We don't need no stinkin' proportions! Yes, I did put a purplie-pink shirt on him. I thought he was secure enough to wear that colour. Are those pit stains? Maybe he's been running for a very long time. What do you expect? I'm at work and all I have is MS Paint. Sheesh! Give a guy a break, for crying out loud!
In other news, if you have any serious items on you mind or something is weighing heavy on your heart, I suggest you ask a ninja for advice. Because of this website, I now know why the number "3" is considered so magical, and how it's linked to Emanuel Lewis being shot out of a cannon. My goodness, I have such a whack sense of humour.
But it was Dan's 35th birthday yesterday, and from what I hear he celebrated it in a drunken stupor. Completely made a horse's behind out of himself. I guess he crashed a wedding, threw up on the bride and commented on how she now looked like her brides mains. What a jerk! He spent the night in a local drunk tank, but I gather he's staying behind bars a little longer because he kept offering a pack of cigarettes for a night with his jailer's wife.
Wait a minute! Michelle's whispering in my ear. Oh. Really? Oh, okay! Apparently I just made all that stuff up about Dan except for his age. He really is 35! Happy birthday, Danno!
Proportions? We don't need no stinkin' proportions! Yes, I did put a purplie-pink shirt on him. I thought he was secure enough to wear that colour. Are those pit stains? Maybe he's been running for a very long time. What do you expect? I'm at work and all I have is MS Paint. Sheesh! Give a guy a break, for crying out loud!
In other news, if you have any serious items on you mind or something is weighing heavy on your heart, I suggest you ask a ninja for advice. Because of this website, I now know why the number "3" is considered so magical, and how it's linked to Emanuel Lewis being shot out of a cannon. My goodness, I have such a whack sense of humour.
